Moms are always applauded and appreciated for many things. While it’s really well-deserved, most of the time, dads are overshadowed. Yes, a mom sacrifices a lot for the family. A mom also keeps the house, tends to the children (and husband), does the overall budgeting, and so many things. All these while balancing career, beauty and fitness. But did you know dads work hard for the family, too? A lot of people say dads get the most fun while moms get the most stress. Maybe that’s true for the most part… But there’s something some of us need to realize: Dads are superheroes as much as moms are.
In photos, you see an adorable mother-child portrait and you say, “Awww this is so sweet.” Behind that photo is probably a dad who’s carrying all the things (mom’s bag, baby bag, shopping bags, etc.) while holding a camera and taking the photo 46 times before he gets the perfect shot (as per wife’s decision).
In social media (or maybe even at the mall), you see a well-groomed mom and child enjoying gourmet food and you get heart eyes and think, #MomGoals. So picture perfect. Behind that well-off stature is probably a dad who works his ass off to provide for the family. Not that all the money’s from the dad as I’m sure a lot of supermamas are working and earning, too. The point is, dads usually work behind the scene. And oftentimes, this is under-appreciated. So let me take this time to say SUPER THANKS to my husband, Ezra’s dad, our SUPERHERO at home. You are amazing.
Here are some of the super things about him:
He works hard but he loves us harder.
Do you know that while dads go to work every day to provide for their families, they also wish they could spend more time with us? Some women, especially housewives, tell their husbands, “At least you only have to work while we do everything at home and everything for our kids!” Uh-uh. I understand how taxing it can be to be a housewife especially without any help — I’ve been there before — but our husbands, too, are making sacrifices. And you know what? They’re doing it for us.
Short story: About a month ago, my husband went on a 3-week leave while I was starting my new job and we had no househelp yet. Hence, he became the househusband. He cooks, he cleans, he prepares my food, he spends more time with Ezra. After a week, he was SOOOO exhausted and he said, “ANG HIRAP PALA MAGING NANAY!” (“I now realize how hard it really is to be a mom!”) Hahahaha!!! During those times, I was at work more than I was at home. Every minute of every day, I’d wish I was there to play with them, eat with them, sleep with them, even argue with them. Many times I’d think, “Is career enough reason for this?” It’s really really not easy, too.
However hard, we don’t have to keep score. We are a couple because we are a team. The bottom line is, motherhood is not easy and so is fatherhood. So appreciate each other.
He spends time with us no matter how tired he is.
When our husbands go to work, they are faced with daily stressors such as terrible traffic, horrible bosses, long hours, and many more. When they arrive home, they just want to relax, and that’s normal. My husband? He plays with Ezra first. Then before he ends his day, he watches at least one movie with me. Sometimes I catch him sleeping in the middle of the movie and that’s okay. It’s super sweet that he’s really trying to be “always there.”
He’d rather stay at home than out with friends.
I’m never the type to restrain my husband from doing anything or going anywhere… not that I need to be “restraining” or anything like that at all. My husband BARELY ever goes out. Like, he’s probably been out with friends only 4 times this year! (Gym time and work-related events not counted) And, he always goes home early. Not only because he wants to set an example to our child, he really just wants to spend time with us. He always says, “Everyday at work, I long to spend time with you guys. Why would I give up my hours on the weekend to spend with others if I can spend it with my family?” I know, we’re so lucky.
He tries SO HARD to understand (and to take good pictures of) me.
Men are wired to have lower EQ compared to women. No matter how cranky and OA I get when I’m PMS-ing, my husband tries to understand (to the best of his ability. Haha). Sometimes, he will just shut up and let me be. Hahahaha!!! Of course, we weren’t like that during our first year. But over time, we learned to adjust to each other’s quirks and hysterics.
Another thing that’s really impressing about him is that he TRIES SO HARD (I have to put it all in caps because it’s that intense) to keep up with my need for a good photo. He loses his patience once in a while, yes, but he really tries to understand that I am such a camwhore. Hahaha! Sometimes, he even offers to take my photo even if I didn’t ask! On days when I feel like I’m super duper ugly and unkempt, he would push for more photos and incessantly tell me I look good and that he’s proud that I don’t have to try so hard or put on so much makeup to look good. I know, that’s probably a lie but I love that he really tries.
He helps with the household chores and he’s good at it.
This I’m going to brag about a lot. He’s never the type to just lay around at home because he’s the “king of the house”. He always helps me with the chores and even volunteers to do the big stuff: laundry (including hand wash), toilet cleaning and major cleaning. He even cooks especially when he sees I’m tired or sleepy or just 5x lazy due to PMS!
He still gives me his fried chicken skin.
Back when we were still friends (I was his crush! Hahaha!) and we’d eat fried chicken, he would always give me his chicken’s skin because he knows it’s my favorite (I always save the best for last). Until now, we’re 5 years married and he still does that every.freaking.time.
There are still a whole lot of things about my husband I am most thankful for, in spite of. He’s a super dad, a child of God, a man of honor.
If your man is not like mine, I’m sure there are other things you are (or you should be) thankful for, in spite of.
In spite of because nobody is perfect and it’s not always going to be rainbows and butterflies. We all have our quirks and shortcomings and there will always be something about our husbands/partners that irks us. But you know what? It’s not about being with a perfect person because this is impossible. It’s about learning to dance through the rain with an imperfect person, who probably never even danced his whole life, and finishing the dance gracefully in spite of the chaos and occasional incoherence, the weaving of feet in between, the mud splashes, the storm. And once you’re done with the dance and the sun comes up again, you’ll find it the best dance ever – perfect – and you’d be willing to dance in the rain again with that same imperfect person.
Also, always try to understand each other. We all have made sacrifices and are still making some. We all encounter hardships, in one way or another. So never say you’re a better parent or you’re the one who’s working harder or you’re the one who had the toughest day. BE A TEAM. One may have a tougher week than the other, yes. But don’t dwell on that austerity. Instead, dwell on each other and be strong together.
Find someone who knows you’re not perfect
but treats you as if you are.
Bonus feature: THE INSIDE STORY!
Today, as we celebrate our 5th year of being married (we wed last 11/12/13 — I still find it cool 😋), I would like to share a little story on how he fell deeply in love with me… Ehem. 😂
It was a Thursday morning when we were at a friend’s house after a graveyard shift. We had drinks, a lot of food, some movies and a few more drinks. Some friends were already asleep; the women stayed in one bedroom. Only about 4 of us were left and after a few more rounds, I dozed off. Now the next parts were totally blurry to me because I was buzzed but this was how it went, according to them:
Rael, my now-husband, carried me (like how a groom carries his bride) to the bedroom upstairs. When he reached the middle part of the stairs, I started farting. Yes, farting. And it’s not the silent type that lets out one puff of air. It was a series of loud bottom burps! Proot here, proot there, proot everywhere! Like an ArmaLite getting fired up. OH.MY.GOD. It probably is my most embarrassing (and disgusting) moment if only I could remember all that. In my defense (really?) I think I partly woke up that time and thought I only let out a “secret fart” once. HAHAHAHAHA Okay, you can judge me. 🙈
Days after that? Rael professed his love for me. HAHAHAHA! Makuha ka sa utot. I think there was power in that fart… like a love spell of some sort. Bwahaha!