1: We have a mini Target in our bags.

That may be an exaggeration but yes, moms bring A LOT of things with us. Sometimes, you’d be surprised how a small purse could carry so much! Wipes? Check. Sanitizer? Check. Aspirin? Check. Diapers, extra shirt, powder? Check, check, check. We even have some packets of cookies, crackers, even tiny toys with us! Pen? Nail clipper? Sharpie? You name it and we just might have it!

2: We are fluent in gibberish.

“Tata-googoo-bubashook-wee!”

“He says he’s excited to go to the park today.”

Seriously. Moms understand gibberish very well. Some moms even talk gibberish!One coo or sound of our baby (and sometimes even other people’s babies) and we already know what they’re trying to say!

3: Wheels On The Bus is our jam!

Gone are the days that we listen incessantly to our “cool music”. Goodbye AC/DC, goodbye Incubus, goodbye Bruno Mars. We’re all about the nursery rhymes now. We dance to it (even when we’re alone), we sing it (even when we brush our teeth), and we constantly get the LSS (Last Song Syndrome) from it! We also start to loathe the new songs teens love these days. I mean, can there please be non-revived love songs that do not incorporate sex or drugs or clubbing?

4: We hide to eat.

We’re not hiding because we’re selfish — although we do sometimes wish we don’t have to share our food all the time. We hide because we want to sneak a little piece of chocolate, a tiny slice of cake or an entire bag of chips. Sometimes it’s because it’s already past 6, or because we don’t want our children to see us eating that much junk, or just because sometimes, we want to eat something on our own. Not half of it or 10% of it or none of it. Another reason why we catch ourselves eating in strange corners of the house like behind a fridge door or even in the bathroom is because for once, WE WANT TO EAT IN PEACE.

5: We don’t mind kids’ body fluids anymore.

There was a time when we never would have imagined sleeping on pee or baby vomit! In fact, we used to wash whatever it is that gets a tiny amount of body fluid — right away! But now? After a few years into motherhood? Nah. A huge pee stain on my side of the bed won’t hurt my sleep. A little baby vomit on my shirt don’t faze me. Some mucus on my hand don’t send me running to the powder room saying “ew ew ew!” Really, we’ve learned to live with all that.

6: We splurge on house items, baby things and husband’s gadget craze but barely spends $5 on us — unless it’s food, which is really for everybody.

Window shopping is one of our favorite past times along with daydreaming. So much so that even a $4 blouse is too expensive for us. When we are determined to buy something, we usually get sidetracked by other cute things for the baby, cool things for the husband or nice things for the house. And here’s the weirder thing: despite the shopping abstinence, our closets are still overflowing!!! And yet we always complain that we don’t have anything to wear!!!

7: We have Super Feet.

Full hands? No problem. We can use our feet to pick things up, push something, close the door (even quietly!), hold something, maneuver something, press the remote, type on a laptop or even send a text! And we do this while holding a sleeping baby on one hand and eating a meal on the other.

8: We can sleep on the edge of the bed without falling.

Yes, our every day is a circus from morning til nighttime. This is especially relatable to co-sleeping moms. 10-20% of the bed is Dad’s, 78-88% is for the baby, and the remaining 2% is yours — just enough for a stiff side-lying position that barely holds your ass! Surprisingly, you wake up the next day without even falling from the bed!

9: We can make up songs faster than Eminem thinks of lines for his rap battles.

We acknowledge it. Eminem is a rap god. But you know what? Moms can think of lyrics or lines as fast as him, too. We can sing to random made-up tunes and we can make every little thing into a song! From brushing the teeth to picking up toys to going to sleep, it’s a hard truth: Moms don’t run out of songs to sing.

10: We can enjoy silent movies.

Especially when the kids are tucked in, snoring their way to Dreamland, moms watch movies on mute! Or with super minimal sound, subtitles or no subtitles — and we still enjoy it!

We sometimes use earphones, too. But when on the earphones, we still keep the volume down because 1) we have this strange anxiety that maybe the kids can hear especially if there are earsplitting sound effects, 2) we’re afraid we might not be able to hear our kids call us or make a fuss when they have nightmares, and 3) read reason #13.

11: We can switch moods in a split second.

Things with kids can switch from a purple dino Barney situation to a Chucky doll fiasco real quick. As a result, moms can transform from a Bruce Banner to the Hulk in just a split second! What’s even funnier is, we can also switch to Mary Poppins in a snap!

12: We love spending time with our kids but alone time just really feels like a vacation.

Yes, a quiet, peaceful vacation where we can actually hear our thoughts, breathe well without someone incessantly asking questions or tied around your limbs. A relaxing vacation where we can just do what we want to do — check the phone, overthink things, watch some flicks, daydream or just revel in the silence.

13: We hear kid’s sounds all the time.

Tell me I’m not alone in this. When I’m in the shower or I’m in the kitchen making a meal, I sometimes hear my son’s voice. Either he’s crying or calling for me. I always end up turning off the shower, the kitchen exhaust, the stove or the range hood just so I could listen intently. I even answer back sometimes to which my husband tells me no one made a sound! LOL! I’ve asked other moms about this, too! And all of us experience the same thing! Hahaha!

If you’re a mom reading this and you share the same weirdness, high five, weirdo!

Thanks for reading! 🖤

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